No reasons why
by WolfKomoki
Summary: What if Clay had shot himself in the head that night? This story follows the aftermath of that night.


**This story features a very graphic suicide scene. If you are feeling suicidal, then please _do not_ read this fic as it will be _very_ triggering.  
Thirteen reasons why is owned by Jay Asher.**

He sees him standing there with a gun. He pulls up and parks the car.

"Clay what are you doing? Where did you _get_ that?" He asks as he walks up to him.

"Get out of my way Justin." Clay demands.

"Come on, Clay this is fucking _crazy_." Justin says.

"No one's gonna get justice for her!" Clay shouts.

"Hey, come on _hey_!" Justin says. His eyes widened when Clay points the gun at him.

" _Move_!" He demands.

"I talked to Jessica today. She wants me to testify." Justin informs.

"Bull _shit_. No, she doesn't." Clay growls.

"Yes, I swear she does." Justin says, his voice full of fear.

"So, you'll just run away or fucking overdose, again?" Clay asks.

"Clay come on." Justin pleads.

"I can't count on anyone else anymore. I have to do this myself." Clay tells him.

"You don't have to do this yourself. We can get him tomorrow." Justin reminds him.

"I need to do it _now_." Clay insists.

"Why?" Justin asks.

"For Hannah." Clay sobs.

"Listen, Clay. I know you loved her, but she's gone, and going in there and hurting Bryce now is _not_ gonna bring her back. She's gone." He says, trying to get through to him. Clay feels his heart breaking all over again.

"How do I make her _stop_? She won't stop." He asks, his voice breaking.

"Make _who_ stop? Who Clay? Who are you talking about?" Justin asks, trying to understand. His eyes widened when Clay presses the gun to his head.

"Clay!" He gasps.

"Clay come on." He pleads.

"Just stop. Give me the gun." He pleads. Clay grunts. Suddenly Bryce walks outside to see Clay pointing a gun at his head.

"What the fuck?" He asks. Clay didn't even think twice when he pulled the trigger.

" _No_!" Justin shouts as Clay falls limp to the ground.

"Holy fuck! He fucking… holy shit!" Bryce gasps.

"What the hell are we going to _do_ Bryce?!" Justin asks.

"Fuck, I don't know!" Bryce shouts. Justin quickly grabs his phone, and dials 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?" The voice asks.

"Yes, hello? My friend just shot himself in the head! I think he's _dead_!" Justin sobs. on the phone. He hands the phone to Bryce and that's when he gives them the address. Ten minutes pass and the paramedics declare Clay's time of death. He's being put in a body bag and being taken away. Justin falls to his knees, in tears. He should've known, he should've slapped that gun out of his hand. He should've fucking _done something_! Bryce just stares in shock. Jensen fucking killed himself! He shot himself in front of him! Fuck what is he supposed to _do_?

When night falls, Lainie and Matt Jensen were greeted by a knock at their door. Clay hasn't come home yet, so they couldn't sleep. When they get to the door, they frown when they see the broken look in the officer's eyes.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jensen, I'm afraid I have some very bad news." He says. Lainie frowns.

"Your son Clay shot himself in the head tonight. He didn't make it, I'm so sorry." The officer informs. Lainie collapses in Matt's arms, and sobs. The officer leaves after that, having nothing more to say. Clay's funeral was the next day. The halls felt empty the next week. Everyone knew the story of Hannah Baker, the girl who killed herself and left those tapes. They don't know the story of Clay Jensen.

"You know why he _killed himself_ don't you?" One voice asks.

"No, why?" Another voice asked.

"Because he was fucking nuts." Another voice says. Tony slams his fist on the lockers.

"Hey, shut the fuck up! You don't know _anything_!" He shouts. Everyone snickered.

"Come on, you know he was crazy. He probably killed himself to be with her." Ryan scoffs. Tony didn't even think twice when he punched Ryan as hard as he could, knocking him to the ground.

"You keep your fucking mouth _shut_ , you got it?" He snaps as he goes to class. Bryce rolls his eyes.

"You're a dick you know that?" He asks. Ryan slowly gets up and limps to class. By the end of the day, Tony finds himself walking into the Jensen household. He looks up to see Lainie and Matt sitting on the couch.

"Oh Tony. Come here." Lainie insists. Tony nods and walks over to her. He blinks when she pulls him in for a hug. They don't blame him? He'd failed to see the signs twice, and now another one of his friends is dead!

"I don't want you to blame yourself, okay? This wasn't anyone's fault but mine." Matt says.

"Mr. Jensen, that's not—" Tony starts to say.

" _No_ , Tony. My son was crying out for help, and I didn't see it until it was too late." Matt says, his voice breaking.

"Did he ever… _talk_ to you, about why he did what he did?" Lainie asks. Tony shook his head.

"He never talked to me about that kind of stuff. I wish to God that he did, then maybe I could've done something." He answers. Soon enough Justin walks in.

"I knew something was wrong. I knew something wasn't right, and when he put that gun to his head, I froze. I could've _stopped_ him, and I didn't, and I'm so fucking sorry." He sobs.

"Justin, no, hey. It _wasn't_ your fault. Clay was hurting, just like Hannah was." Tony says as he brings him in for a hug. Justin sobs into his chest. Tony pats his back, trying his best to comfort him. He almost had a heart attack when he sees Clay standing there, in total silence. _Fuck, I'm losing my damn mind!_ He lets go of Justin and walks outside. Clay follows him when he sits in his car.

"It's not your fault Tony. _You know that_." Clay says.

" _Yes, it is_ Clay. That's twice now that I've failed to see the signs. That's _twice now_ that my friends have been suicidal, and I've missed the _signs_!" Tony shouts.

 **A/N:**

 **Worldwide Suicide Hotlines**

 **Albania 127**

 **Algeria 0021 3983 2000 58**

 **Argentina (054–011) 4758 2554**

 **Australia 1–800–273–8255**

 **Austria 142**

 **Bahamas 328–0922 / 322–4999 /322–2763**

 **Bahrain 0097 161 199 188/ 0097 161 199 260 / 0097 161 199 191 / 0097 161 199 334**

 **Barbados (246) 42 99 999**

 **Belgium 106**

 **Bolivia 00 591 4 4 25 42 42**

 **Bostwana 3911270**

 **Brazil +55 51 211 2888**

 **Canada 514–723–4000**

 **China 0800–810–1117**

 **Colombia (00 57 5) 372 27 27**

 **Costa Rica 506–253–5439**

 **Croatia (01) 4833–888**

 **Cuba 532 348 14 49**

 **Cyprus +357 77 77 72 67**

 **Denmark +45 70 201 20**

 **Ecuador 593 2 6000 477**

 **Eqypt 762 1602/3**

 **Estonia 126 /127**

 **Fiji (0679) 670565**

 **Finland 040–5032199**

 **France +33 951 11 61 30**

 **Germany 0800 1110 222**

 **Ghana 233 244 846 701**

 **Greece 1018**

 **Guatemala 1–800–999–9999**

 **Guyana +592 223–0001, 223–0009, 600–7896, 623–4444**

 **Honduras (00 504) 2558 08 08 /2232–1314**

 **Hong Kong 2389 2222 /2382 0000**

 **Hungary (46) 323 888**

 **India 2549 7777**

 **Iran 1480**

 **Israel 1201**

 **Italy 800 86 00 22**

 **Jamaica 930–1152 / 1–888–429-KARE (5273)**

 **Japan +81 (0) 3 5286 9090**

 **Kenya +254 20 300 0378/205 1323**

 **Latvia 371 67222922**

 **Liberia 06534308 –**

 **Lithuania 8–800 2 8888**

 **Luxembourg 454545**

 **Malaysia (063) 928 500 39**

 **Malta 179**

 **Mauritius 46 48 889**

 **Mexico 525–510–2550**

 **Namibia 61–232–221**

 **Netherlands 0900–113 0 113**

 **New Zealand 0800 543 354**

 **Nicaragua 2311–7361**

 **Norway +47 815 33 300**

 **Papua New Guinea 675 326 0011 (Daytime only)**

 **Peru (00 51 1) 273 8026**

 **Philippines (02) 8969191 /893 7606**

 **Poland 52 70 000 /52 70 988**

 **Portugal (+351) 225 50 60 70**

 **Russia 007 (8202) 577–577**

 **Samoa 32000**

 **Serbia 037 23 025**

 **Singapore 1800 221 4444**

 **South Africa 0861 322 322**

 **South Korea (02) 715 8600**

 **Spain 0145 900 50**

 **Sri Lanka 011 057 2222662**

 **St. Vincent (784) 456 1044**

 **Sudan (249) 11–555–253**

 **Sweden (46) 31 711 2400**

 **Switzerland 143**  
 **suicide prevention**

 **Thailand (02) 713–6793**

 **Tonga 23000 /25144**

 **Trinidad & Tobago (868) 645 2800**

 **Turkey 182**

 **UK & Ireland +44 8457 90 90 90**

 **Ukraine 058**

 **USA 1–800–273-TALK(8255)**

 **United States Crisis Text Line If you are immediately concerned about**  
 **yourself or a friend, reach out for help: TEXT: 741741 .org**

 **Venezuela 0241–8433308**

 **Zimbabwe (9) 650 00**


End file.
